I haven’t put much on this site for quite a while. There hasn’t been much to talk about…I wanted to get back into my writing, but still can’t get my personal life in order. Taking care of my father, his personal finances, and business has been draining…combine that with a mid-life crisis and general dissatisfaction with my life have made writing damned near impossible for me. I know that until I resolve these issues, the writing just isn’t going to come.

I doubt anyone is around to read this, but if you happen across here some time, you can see that I’m still alive and still fighting my own demons.

Be well.

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Back at work this week.  Was off work for about 5 weeks, so it was pretty weird coming back after so much time had passed.  The surgery went well and I’m feeling tons better than I did in the weeks leading up to the surgery.

 It’s been a tough year, I admit.  I was ill from March through November and was dealing with my father’s deteriorating condition during that time as well as the work day.  My Dad has Parkinson’s, so he went from living on his own to a nursing home and then into assisted living during this time period.  I had to handle (and still do) his personal finances while my brother handled his business finances.  He had a relapse recently and ended up in nursing care for about a month, but last week, he was able to return to his assisted living apartment and is doing better.  I don’t know what will happen from here, but being in good health on my side will certainly help. 

I’m looking ahead to 2008 and hoping for a better quality of life for my parents and myself.  I want to focus more on the higher branches of the tree again instead of making sure the trunk and roots are okay.  I’m very lucky.  I have a good job with good benefits, I have a roof over my head that’s paid for, and I can pay all my bills.  Nevertheless, I want to move to the next level.  I want more out of my life — I want to go after my dreams again.  I want to share my life with someone.  I want to experience life rather than just exist.  I got to a point where I was just existing (as I am doing now).  That’s my resolution for 2008.  To experience life.

I don’t know what this means at the moment, but I’m tired of watching it all pass by me.  This life goes by so fast.  I’ve missed an awful lot of it and I feel compelled to change that.  Where does this lead me?  Not sure yet. :)  One thing I am going to do though is return to Lincoln City in February, to the place where it all unraveled on me.  Where I stopped being a writer.  I want to find that thread again and pick it up.  But with new “rules”.  New insights and new hopes.  I let something stupid walk off with my dreams and I can’t let that happen again.  So I’m going back to take a workshop and find my writer self again.

 

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Still dealing with lots o’ life rolls…not much has changed since my last post…

Going to be having surgery toward the end of the month that will hopefully end six months of illness.  Will be off work for 4 to 6 weeks.  Needless to say, I haven’t written anything since March…but I’m still breathing…always a plus.

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